i was right...

last night was incredible...

thank you, as always, christ church for being who you are...

i need you...

haha - you need me, too...

tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting, was i think, a big success.

today has been a day... to say the least... i'm worn out and the day isn't over...

luckily, tonight is a tuesday night... and that means i get to spend some precious time with some of the most precious people i've ever known...

it will be good...

i'm ready...

then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa!"

i guess God is the best prankster...

i hate being up early in the morning... if i've stayed up late and know that i can sleep all day, it's one thing... but when i have to get up and go to work at 5:00 a.m., i pretty much hate life... i don't sleep well, if at all, the night before most of the time... and last night was no different...

i slept less than an hour at one point and woke up about 1 a.m. or so... it's all kind of a blur... and i slept from about 3:00 until 4:45, i think... at 4:45, i got up, dressed for work and walked out the door at 4:55, which is plenty of time for me to get to work...

the weather was bad last night... a lot of lightning and thunder and really heavy rains and evidently pretty strong winds... 

i walked downstairs and through sleepy eyes, this is what i see...

i thought i might be able to get out, but to no avail...

Never fear, someone came to pick me up for work, so i made it... but it was one of those things that i thought, "really, did this happen to me?" another great story...

btw... the dumpster traveled about 50-60 feet... luckily it didn't hit my car... 

connected...

a couple of my friends asked if i wanted to get lunch... they suggested layla's - the greek restaurant close to sbux... i didn't really feel like greek food today, but decided it was an okay option... i would just get pizza...

the owners of layla's love americanos from sbux, so when we got to layla's, i asked them if they wanted anything from sbux and the lady did...

i walked over to sbux and got one of my friends to give me a tall americano... i took it back over to layla's, gave it to the lady, sat down with my friends, ordered and ate lunch... it was great food, but i had more than enough left over... i asked for a box, knowing full well that i hate leftovers and that the pizza would probably go bad before i would think about eating the rest of it... 

then, i found out that they weren't going to charge me for my lunch because of my efforts in bringing them coffee...

i left all the cash i had with me for a tip (about $3.75) and then took my leftovers and walked out... i went back to sbux to get something to drink... i'm stuck on this new drink and i'm trying to figure out how to tweak it to make it perfect...

and then i realized that 2 of the girls who are working now have been talking about food... so i offer them my leftovers... and they ask if i want something to drink... since i've given them my leftovers, they give me my drink as a partner beverage... (cost = $0)

it totally made me feel connected... by 2:00 this afternoon, i was well-fed and full of caffeine... all at no cost to me... except my tip - which was just more to be nice than anything... i felt so cool... (for the record... i know i'm not... i just loved the way it all worked out...)

the barter system could really work...

sushi and butch walker...

if i could do anything tonight, i would go eat sushi and watch a butch walker show...

here are the problems:

1) butch walker doesn't come to little rock - i don't know if he ever will...

2) well, #1 was really the only problem...

i'd settle for another kind of food and a different show... maybe i'll wander down to riverfest... 

but it'd be so great to see butch walker...

do they have support group meetings for insomniacs?

if they did, would the meetings be in the middle of the night? or would that just encourage it?

just curious...

i don't know what it is about me that feels the need to stay up late... i have no reason for being up less than 8 hours before i have to be a fully-aware-and-responsible adult at work tomorrow... but then again, i could probably stay up for a few more hours and be okay... 

but i would hate my life tomorrow... 

i wish everything ran on my time... that would make my life a lot easier... i wouldn't have to worry about the fact that i woke up late this morning and have to figure out a way to work late or through lunch some either tomorrow or sometime this week to make up for time lost today... 

i want to write about something productive... instead, because of the time of day when i finally get to the computer with intentions to write, all i can think about is how i should already be in bed and how i need sleep to function the next day -- and how i'm not accomplishing or achieving said sleep because i want to do something creative...

i'm writing a book... i've talked about it before... but i've never really taken it all that seriously... i think i'm going to now... i don't know if it will end up being one of those "bucket list by 30" items for me or not... but i figure that now is as good of a time as any to do something creative with my life and time... we'll see... writing down my thoughts is one thing... going through the process of making it all flow together is quite another thing... getting it published is an even bigger thing... wish me luck. remind me of good stories we've shared... i have a lot in my head, but i am sure there are some i'm forgetting...

growth vs. growing up...

sometimes i wish i could measure specific growth in my life... whether it's personal or spiritual... i wish that it was like the pencil lines on the inside of the downstairs hall closet... that it would be tangible... specific... 

i think there are some areas in my life where i'm growing... and i like being able to realize that i've grown, but i HATE the growth process... i hate the "growing up" part... i never experienced growing pains... the actual physical pain that comes with some growth - or at least i don't think i did... but it makes me think back to some times in life that there was a lot of pain or suffering... and how it was much easier to focus on the pain and suffering than the outcome... and now, sure, it is easy to look back and understand... but in the midst of it, it's just more complicated than that...

i was thankful when caleb came to christ church a few weeks ago... his words will continue to be something that i want to measure my life by... in talking about a possibility of him having a life-altering condition (negative), he said, "if i have it, i'm going to praise Him. if i don't have it, i'm going to praise Him. my praise should not be dependent upon the circumstances. i have a 50/50 chance of having this disease, but 100% chance of being in God's will."

i wish i lived my life with that mentality... ouch... growing pain...

these are really disjointed thoughts... i originally sat down to write, "i can't believe i'm up late again - hopefully i'll be in bed by midnight" and ended up with this... i guess it's something i needed to sort through...

my favorite scene in grey's anatomy tonight was when meredith looked at christina and said, "are you in a dark place? i am, too." and there was this understanding of life being messy and not necessarily wanting to be happy... i get it. but i'm not in a dark place right now... but i do appreciate the friends who get the dark and messy parts of my world.